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Two by Two

Two by Two

If you’re a DIYer reading the title, you’ll likely think this is one of my infamous DIY stories. But seriously, what can I make with a 2×2? Ok, lots. Or if you’re very religious, your first thought may be Noah’s Arc. There you’d be wrong too. Two. 2. Darned homophones.

No, 2 x 2 is how my friend Terri and I are losing our weight together. I’ll assume she’s losing 30 pounds too. I don’t really know. But the exciting news is: we’re both down by 2 pounds.


Two by Two. Get it? Aren’t we clever? Or are we just peaking on the protein shakes?


PB Spoons
Sorry, I used to be in advertising so I knew to put the larger spoon with the 60 grams in front, the 15 gr on a smaller spoon, but hide the length of the spoons to make this all look pretty bad. Actually, it IS pretty bad and didn’t need my tampering. Sigh.

It’s not so much that I stress-eat. It’s portion control of my random goodies (nutella or PB on a spoon). So here’s today shocker: I weighed it out recently and this is what 15 grams vs 60 grams of peanut butter looks like.


I can’t see the difference. Can you see the difference? There is no difference. Ok, I stole that from an ABC commercial (not the broadcaster, the detergent). I don’t give two poops and a gosh darn about my whites though. I have kids. I don’t have white clothing. In the old days I had cute squash and tennis clothes which were white.


Now, I have peanut butter.


Right. Peanut butter. The snack of champions because, well, it’s low in sugars. Yeah yeah the “fat” thing. Whatevs.


PB Label
Sorry, I have a fatigued phone. That reads 100 calories for 15 grams which is 1 sadly levelled tablespoon.

To keep with the homage to “old” TV commericals… read the label, set a better table. Sorry, I couldn’t find it on YouTube and the site I did find it on, maybe, looked sketchy. If you’re over 45, you likely saw it.  Here be the label, arrrrr(gh).


So what I can see, since I went to elementary school, is that my random snack was 400 calories (at least, some days I added chocolate chips. No. Really. Try it). Fat: 32 grams (half my day if I were a tall man). And so on.


So cut it down to some organic hippie crap peanut butter I know grind myself, there’s 2,100 calories gone from my life right away.


Ok, so it’s not a diet you buy for $300 bucks a month where you cleanse by diarrhoea, but it’s a good start.


Now you’re going to say, didn’t you notice you were having so much peanut butter? No, actually, I didn’t. Like my first prom, things started out small and controlled, then they grew and eventually got out-of-hand. Take that where you want.


But this isn’t just about peanut butter, it’s about happiness and good bones and a strong heart. Terri and I are committed to supporting each other through this. No more dis/couragement to friends on diets “it’s ok, you deserve a cookie.” For people like Terri and me, that’s like telling a non-drinking alcoholic to have just one sip. We can’t. They can’t.


Down 2+ pounds, dadgum right!

I no longer want a deserving reward-punishment-based system attached to my food. I deserve strong bones and a sound heart. One of the most preventable causes of death is heart attack. That kills more women by far than lung cancer (breast is way down there, lung will get you first actually). I am training myself to shift my brain into accepting that as my new “reward.” Seeing the kids grow up, grandchildren, and leaving a kick-ass body when I’m 104.


Oh, and my friend Terri? She writes fantastic mysteries and romance novels. Go buy one of her books. That’s YOUR reward.

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